Sometimes you hear things, when you work in an ER. You know, how you just hear a couple of sentences in passing? You may or may not know the context. It may be disgusting, sad, funny, puzzling or infuriating. But there are just some things you only hear if you work in an ER. Some snippets of conversation I have had or overheard in the Emergency Department:
"Is the guy in room 6 dead?"
"Not any more."
"I was ejaculated out of the back of the truck"
(Dude meant ejected.For which we thank God. Because the other possibility is just too disturbing.)
"Whose vomit is that?"
"The fast-track nurse fainted. Can you go check on her?"
"He wears pink tights all the time!"
"My doctor says my prospects are fine. But he thinks I need a colon option."
(contributed by a coworker)
"Are those worms or noodles?"
"I don't know. Are they moving?"
From a fully dressed patient "Can I get dressed now?"
From the confused nurse "Uh, ma'am, you are dressed."
Patient, nodding head cheerfully "Uh huh!"
(Still trying to work that one out)
"Do you smoke?"
"Yes. No. Wait.... do you mean tobacco?"
(Never mind, I think I have the answer)
"Surgical history includes bilateral hysterectomies....."
"I threw up off the porch. And I need to chew my food better! There was whole french fries in there!"
Stated very loudly to a friend while in triage ..
"I think your brother has give me the nasty AGAIN!!!"
From a five-year-old:
"I have my tummy hurting and I swallowed two monies"
(Xray showed two coins in stomach)
"He my first baby daddy and my cousins baby daddy but not the daddy of this one"
"Patient has made a clean sweep of the drug screen. She BINGO'ed for everything!"
Sometimes, my job is just a lot of fun!
